Paranormal Activity
Paranormal Activity depicts the haunting of a couple in San Diego by an evil sub-woofer from beyond the grave. The sub-woofer of the damned harasses its victims by playing low, rumbling bass real loud and occasionally dropping itself on hardwood floors to make a big thump.
Then, the victims cry about it for a good fifteen minutes while we wait for another good 5 seconds of horror.
And seriously, half way through the movie, when the haunting is well established and a big thump happens upstairs do the characters really have to go, “OMG! What was that?!?!?!” Uhh, haven’t you people been paying attention?
I’m not sure what the ruling is on telling your significant other that you have been haunted your entire life. I think within the first month of dating your supposed to air out any STD’s, but you go three years without mentioning that you’ve been followed for a demonic sub-woofer that occasionally likes to start fires?
There are a couple good scenes towards the end that are scary and the actress does do some nice body acting. But, by that time, it’s way too late. Filming people crying for minutes on end after a thump in shaky cam just isn’t scary. Heck, a good third of the movie is actually in fast forward mode precisely because nothing is happening.
I give it:
-13578135789789135789135789135789135.135890135890135908 Balls of Fury
