Archive for the ‘sunshine’ tag
Sunshine
Before I give my review of Sunshine let me declare the following:
I can successfully argue the value of the movie Waterworld. I get the Faustian references in the movie Shaft’s Big Score. I understand the allegory to the Cold War that Striptease represents. (Her left silicon nodule represented the vast Soviet military the Kremlin could no longer afford as it took up 25% of the Russian GNP and her right silicon nodule represented the clandestine Nicaragua struggle. How she shook them represented tensions between East and West powers).
With that said, let me say that Sunshine is the worst movie I have ever seen in my life. Mixed Nuts – not even close. The Road to Wellville – ah ha! Amateur hour! Look folks, I bought Ultraviolet just to hear the director’s commentary – I know my bad movies.
Sunshine is like waking up at 5am every morning and having Mormons slap you in the face with their golden plates; then they wedgie you with their magic underwear. Sunshine is like getting a striptease from Gore Vidol.
And yet I had such high hopes. I like your average Danny Boyle, your run of the mill Cillian Murhpy’s, your everyday Michelle Yeoh., and I even love science fiction.
Yet, this movie made me want to vomit crushed glass through my nose.
First of all, any movie that ever dares utter the line, “We should split up” automatically gets a negative 891389513985.31859 Balls of Fury.
What frustrates me most about this movie is that it was competently made. The production seems sound. The music is well placed. The scenes seem well framed. Yet, every word or action out of their mouths reminded me of Wiley E. Coyote planning an assault on the Road Runner. We know it’s not going to work and after the second try it grows very very very old. If there was a golden ratio of production value to inane plot – Sunshine would rip the very fabric of reality.
So, with that, I give Sunshine a rating even lower than Weekend at Bernies 2…….
-138573180578973189571389783175901739057139075907319057139075.318795178395 Balls of Fury.