101 Haikus About Ham
Located at http://www.rangersquad.com/smf/index.php/topic,185.0.html , 101 Haikus About Ham was started by RS-shruew to bring glory to the meat that is ham.
Trivia - 101 Haikus About Ham actually has 102 haikus. A special 102nd haiku was added to bring a glorious end to this most incredible endeavor.
shruew was the writer of the first 52 haikus about Ham; thought to be the single most impressive achievement by an individual ever.
Haikus (In Order of Appearance)
1.
Oh dear, I hunger
Is there no solution here?
Indeed, I eat ham!
-shruew
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2.
Place it in a can
Market it to the masses
Spread the word of ham
-shruew
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3.
It was a good one
A honeyglazed perfection
Sad now, it is gone.
-shruew
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4.
Serve this masterpiece
Enjoy the sweet glazed topping
A spiral sliced joy
-shruew
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5.
Hickory smoked ham
Serves 96 grams of fat
One serving is all.
-shruew
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6.
Fresh, cured, dried, smoked ham
Too many choices to make
Give me one of each.
-shruew
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7.
Boneless ham for you
Means less ham for me to eat
That's why you must die
-shruew
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8.
Ham ham ham ham ham
All I can think about is:
Ham ham ham ham ham
-shruew
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9.
Honey-spice glazed ham
Is ready to serve at once.
Delightful for you!
-shruew
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10.
Ham peppered bacon
It is not a proper ham
Yet, it's very good
-shruew
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11.
Love, Sex, Fame, Power
These are things people are after.
I just want some ham.
-shruew
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12.
Muslims don't eat ham
It's not considered halal.
I will eat their ham.
-shruew
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13.
Clowns crying in blood
Streets flooded with dead bodies.
Hope - we call you ham!
-shruew
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14.
I awake from sleep;
A new day beckons me to come.
Breakfast ham for strength.
-shruew
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15.
Why am I obsessed?
ham. BAM! ham. BAM! ham. BAMBAM!
TAKE ME TO YOUR GOD!
-shruew
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16.
Regrets in our lives.
Looking back at my life I
Should've had more ham.
-shruew
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17.
Mexican wrestlers,
Colorful costumes and acts.
Not as good as ham!
-shruew
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18.
Before or after
Before ham or after ham
Ham is the center
-shruew
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19.
Oh, say can you see?
By the dawn's early ham-light
I eat tons of ham.
-shruew
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20.
Sometimes I think that
The sun is just a giant ham
Honeyglazing Earth.
-shruew
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21.
When it's time to go,
When it's time to bury me.
Bury me in ham.
-shruew
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22.
Co-pilot Chewy,
You have never eaten ham.
You should try some soon.
-shruew
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23.
Vegetarian,
I do not fear what you eat.
For it is not ham.
-shruew
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24.
In certain cultures,
It is legal to marry
Dry-cured, not brined, ham
-shruew
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25.
If Hitler ate ham,
All the world would be German.
Again, ham saves all.
-shruew
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26.
Through being cool now.
I have no ham and it hurts.
I WILL get some ham!!!
-shruew
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27.
Fabio Testi
You starred in a movie once
Did you eat ham there?
-shruew
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28.
Hamburger, you lied!
There is no ham in your meat!
Stop using that name!
-shruew
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29.
The Code of the Ham:
Live Free, Eat Well, Do Good and
Honeglaze evil.
-shruew
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UNDER CONSTRUCTION-----