101 Haikus About Ham: Difference between revisions
Line 516: | Line 516: | ||
60. | 60. | ||
[[Ham]]'s like a snow flake,<br> | |||
Each bite a unique flavor.<br> | |||
Each bite a marvel!<br> | |||
-[[shruew]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
</tr> | </tr> | ||
Line 522: | Line 526: | ||
61. | 61. | ||
Witch Doctor of [[Ham]], | |||
Do what you can for that boy. | |||
Your ancient plague cure. | |||
-[[shruew]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
<td> | <td> | ||
62. | 62. | ||
[[Ham]] Paladin can<br> | |||
Save you from your inner fears.<br> | |||
Repent and rejoice!<br> | |||
-[[shruew]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
<td> | <td> | ||
63. | 63. | ||
Sunshine; morning dew.<br> | |||
Celebration of senses.<br> | |||
[[Ham]] rises the sun.<br> | |||
-[[shruew]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
</tr> | </tr> | ||
Line 536: | Line 552: | ||
64. | 64. | ||
What's in my pocket?<br> | |||
Meaty, gentle, tasty fun!<br> | |||
Of course, it is [[ham]]!<br> | |||
-[[shruew]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
<td> | <td> | ||
65. | 65. | ||
I like my [[ham]] like<br> | |||
How I like my girls to be:<br> | |||
Gold, glazed, sliced...uhhh wait.<br> | |||
-[[shruew]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
<td> | <td> | ||
66. | 66. | ||
Politics to save<br> | |||
Us from life's many troubles.<br> | |||
Infuse [[ham]]. Repent.<br> | |||
-[[shruew]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
</tr> | </tr> | ||
Line 550: | Line 578: | ||
67. | 67. | ||
When all else fails you,<br> | |||
When all hope in life fails you,<br> | |||
Ascend to the [[ham]]!<br> | |||
-[[shruew]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
<td> | <td> | ||
68. | 68. | ||
You cannot stop me!<br> | |||
Children looking at the throne<br> | |||
Don't know [[ham]] rules all!<br> | |||
-[[shruew]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
<td> | <td> | ||
69. | 69. | ||
Putrid man get back!<br> | |||
Homeless man without a plan;<br> | |||
Stay away from [[ham]]!<br> | |||
-[[shruew]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
</tr> | </tr> | ||
Line 564: | Line 604: | ||
70. | 70. | ||
Rub [[ham]] on your loins.<br> | |||
Insert it in some places.<br> | |||
Just keep that secret!<br> | |||
-[[shruew]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
<td> | <td> | ||
71. | 71. | ||
Sometimes I wonder<br> | |||
What life would be without [[Ham]]<br> | |||
I dare not dream it<br> | |||
-[[Bear]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
<td> | <td> | ||
72. | 72. | ||
My desperation;<br> | |||
The trials of life take hold!<br> | |||
Find solace in [[ham]].<br> | |||
-[[shruew]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
</tr> | </tr> | ||
Line 578: | Line 630: | ||
73. | 73. | ||
Let's think about [[ham]].<br> | |||
Contemplate its special taste.<br> | |||
At awe in it's glow!<br> | |||
-[[shruew]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
<td> | <td> | ||
74. | 74. | ||
Was it all a dream?<br> | |||
[[Ham]] flowing like uncorked wine,<br> | |||
I'll never wake up! <br> | |||
-[[shruew]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
<td> | <td> | ||
75. | 75. | ||
Everyone loves [[Ham]]<br> | |||
Except for [[Chillybilly]]<br> | |||
He should be beaten!<br> | |||
-[[bear]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
</tr> | </tr> | ||
Line 592: | Line 656: | ||
76. | 76. | ||
To have New Year's joy,<br> | |||
[[Ham]] must be consumed wisely -<br> | |||
Use moderation.<br> | |||
-[[shruew]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
<td> | <td> | ||
77. | 77. | ||
[[Ranger Squad]] loves [[ham]],<br> | |||
we love it with a passion<br> | |||
[[ham]] is our lifeblood<br> | |||
-[[GenG]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
<td> | <td> | ||
78. | 78. | ||
[[Ham]] is quite godly<br> | |||
[[Ham]] is inebriating<br> | |||
[[Ham]] is life itself<br> | |||
-[[GenG]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
</tr> | </tr> | ||
Line 606: | Line 682: | ||
79. | 79. | ||
[[ham]] is god's lesson<br> | |||
[[ham]] is better than school is<br> | |||
[[ham]] is just super<br> | |||
-[[GenG]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
<td> | <td> | ||
80. | 80. | ||
[[Ham]] is good on bread<br> | |||
even better on women<br> | |||
it is always good<br> | |||
-[[GenG]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
<td> | <td> | ||
81. | 81. | ||
The clock struck seven<br> | |||
I was almost late for [[ham]]<br> | |||
but on time i was<br> | |||
-[[GenG]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
</tr> | </tr> | ||
Line 620: | Line 708: | ||
82. | 82. | ||
Eggs with my breakfast<br> | |||
Turkey for my late lunch-break<br> | |||
[[Ham]] with my dinner<br> | |||
-[[GenG]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
<td> | <td> | ||
83. | 83. | ||
the sun is shining<br> | |||
a great golden [[ham]] glowing<br> | |||
lights the universe<br> | |||
-[[GenG]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
<td> | <td> | ||
84. | 84. | ||
Owning at my games<br> | |||
playing most delightfully<br> | |||
with [[ham]] at my side<br> | |||
-[[GenG]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
</tr> | </tr> | ||
Line 634: | Line 734: | ||
85. | 85. | ||
Music was playing<br> | |||
furniture was strewn about<br> | |||
my [[ham]] was stolen<br> | |||
-[[GenG]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
<td> | <td> | ||
86. | 86. | ||
Money can't buy love<br> | |||
money can't buy happiness<br> | |||
money bought me [[ham]]<br> | |||
-[[GenG]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
<td> | <td> | ||
87. | 87. | ||
God gave men, women<br> | |||
god gave women the kitchen<br> | |||
God gave all great [[ham]]<br> | |||
-[[GenG]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
</tr> | </tr> | ||
Line 648: | Line 760: | ||
88. | 88. | ||
Soldiers were marching<br> | |||
without rest they keep going<br> | |||
I gave them some [[ham]]<br> | |||
-[[GenG]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
<td> | <td> | ||
89. | 89. | ||
I have a fever<br> | |||
There is one prescription out<br> | |||
it's honey glazed [[ham]]<br> | |||
-[[GenG]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
<td> | <td> | ||
90. | 90. | ||
Snow was a falling<br> | |||
temperatures were dropping<br> | |||
[[ham]] i was eating<br> | |||
-[[GenG]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
</tr> | </tr> | ||
Line 662: | Line 786: | ||
91. | 91. | ||
we had us some [[ham]]<br> | |||
[[Giberish]] had none with him<br> | |||
We did not share it<br> | |||
-[[GenG]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
<td> | <td> | ||
92. | 92. | ||
The new year has come<br> | |||
The old year has passed us by<br> | |||
[[Ham]] is forever<br> | |||
-[[GenG]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
<td> | <td> | ||
93. | 93. | ||
I walked up my stairs<br> | |||
When i beheld something great<br> | |||
[[Ham]] awaiting me.<br> | |||
-[[GenG]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
</tr> | </tr> | ||
Line 676: | Line 812: | ||
94. | 94. | ||
I love my music<br> | |||
But when i have a headache<br> | |||
I eat [[ham]] instead<br> | |||
-[[GenG]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
<td> | <td> | ||
95. | 95. | ||
[[GenG]] loves his [[Ham]]<br> | |||
Certainly not more than [[shruew]]<br> | |||
[[Ham]] is in his blood<br> | |||
-[[Bear} | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
<td> | <td> | ||
96. | 96. | ||
The stars above shine<br> | |||
Down upon the Earth like [[ham]];<br> | |||
Night time honeyglaze.<br> | |||
-[[shruew]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
</tr> | </tr> | ||
Line 690: | Line 838: | ||
97. | 97. | ||
Soon this will all end.<br> | |||
The tribute to [[ham]] will stop.<br> | |||
I will cry that day.<br> | |||
-[[shruew]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
<td> | <td> | ||
98. | 98. | ||
Eat it! Eat the [[ham]]!<br> | |||
Don't make me have to kill you!<br> | |||
You WILL eat this [[ham]]!<br> | |||
-[[shruew]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
<td> | <td> | ||
99. | 99. | ||
Take us home to [[ham]].<br> | |||
I've been away far too long.<br> | |||
Rejoice in its brine.<br> | |||
-[[shruew]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
</tr> | </tr> | ||
Line 704: | Line 864: | ||
100. | 100. | ||
If there is no God,<br> | |||
then we must have faith in [[ham]].<br> | |||
For it is divine.<br> | |||
-[[shruew]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
<td> | <td> | ||
101. | 101. | ||
This is not the end.<br> | |||
This shrine will last forever.<br> | |||
A tribute to [[ham]].<br> | |||
-[[shruew]] | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
<td> | <td> | ||
Epilogue | Epilogue | ||
Lo, too late to post! <br> | |||
The Thread's Ragnarok has come<br> | |||
Yet [[ham]]: eternal.<br> | |||
-Silent700 | |||
</td> | </td> | ||
</tr> | </tr> | ||
</table> | </table> | ||
Revision as of 15:21, 25 September 2008
101 Haikus About Ham
Located at http://www.rangersquad.com/smf/index.php/topic,185.0.html , 101 Haikus About Ham was started by RS-shruew to bring glory to the meat that is ham.
Trivia - 101 Haikus About Ham actually has 102 haikus. A special 102nd haiku was added to bring a glorious end to this most incredible endeavor.
shruew was the writer of the first 52 haikus about Ham; thought to be the single most impressive achievement by an individual ever.
The incredible testament to ham was started on July 2nd, 2007 and concluded January 17, 2008.
Haikus (In Order of Appearance)
1. Oh dear, I hunger |
2. Place it in a can |
3. It was a good one | |
4. Serve this masterpiece |
5. Hickory smoked ham |
6. Fresh, cured, dried, smoked ham | |
7. Boneless ham for you |
8. Ham ham ham ham ham |
9. Honey-spice glazed ham | |
10. Ham peppered bacon |
11. Love, Sex, Fame, Power |
12. Muslims don't eat ham | |
13. Clowns crying in blood |
14. I awake from sleep; |
15. Why am I obsessed? |
|
16. Regrets in our lives. |
17. Mexican wrestlers, |
18. Before or after |
|
19. Oh, say can you see? |
20. Sometimes I think that |
21. When it's time to go, |
|
22. Co-pilot Chewy, |
23. Vegetarian, |
24. In certain cultures, |
|
25. If Hitler ate ham, |
26. Through being cool now. |
27. Fabio Testi |
|
28. Hamburger, you lied! |
29. The Code of the Ham: |
30. In the Middle East, |
|
31. This ham has spoiled. |
32. Bacon is not ham. |
33. This country is free. |
|
34. Pigs are known as the |
35. Let the silence soothe. |
36. Oh, Holiday Ham, |
|
37. World hunger abounds. |
38. You must be able |
39. It has come; the time. |
|
40. The Pork Chop Express |
41. The meaning of life |
42. This is a haiku. |
|
43. Zombie death clowns die! |
44. To live forever. |
45. Blood sausage for all. |
|
46. If it is not love, |
47. No words can describe |
48. Your Dad left you young. |
|
49. Why does ham perplex? |
50. Gladiators of |
51. I know of a place |
|
52. More than half way done. |
53. Oh Lord I'm so hot. |
54. Baked fried or roasted. |
|
55. Endure, Persist, Live. |
56. Grossman is no ham! |
57. Hear the rain splash down, |
|
58. Glorious desire, |
59. Ham's no reprobate. |
60. Ham's like a snow flake, |
|
61. Witch Doctor of Ham, Do what you can for that boy. Your ancient plague cure. -shruew |
62. Ham Paladin can |
63. Sunshine; morning dew. |
|
64. What's in my pocket? |
65. I like my ham like |
66. Politics to save |
|
67. When all else fails you, |
68. You cannot stop me! |
69. Putrid man get back! |
|
70. Rub ham on your loins. |
71. Sometimes I wonder |
72. My desperation; |
|
73. Let's think about ham. |
74. Was it all a dream? |
75. Everyone loves Ham |
|
76. To have New Year's joy, |
77. Ranger Squad loves ham, |
78. Ham is quite godly |
|
79. ham is god's lesson |
80. Ham is good on bread |
81. The clock struck seven |
|
82. Eggs with my breakfast |
83. the sun is shining |
84. Owning at my games |
|
85. Music was playing |
86. Money can't buy love |
87. God gave men, women |
|
88. Soldiers were marching |
89. I have a fever |
90. Snow was a falling |
|
91. we had us some ham |
92. The new year has come |
93. I walked up my stairs |
|
94. I love my music |
95. GenG loves his Ham |
96. The stars above shine |
|
97. Soon this will all end. |
98. Eat it! Eat the ham! |
99. Take us home to ham. |
|
100. If there is no God, |
101. This is not the end. |
Epilogue Lo, too late to post! |