101 Haikus About Ham: Difference between revisions

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Revision as of 11:20, 24 September 2008

101 Haikus About Ham

Located at http://www.rangersquad.com/smf/index.php/topic,185.0.html , 101 Haikus About Ham was started by RS-shruew to bring glory to the meat that is ham.

Trivia - 101 Haikus About Ham actually has 102 haikus. A special 102nd haiku was added to bring a glorious end to this most incredible endeavor.

shruew was the writer of the first 52 haikus about Ham; thought to be the single most impressive achievement by an individual ever.



Haikus (In Order of Appearance)

1.

Oh dear, I hunger
Is there no solution here?
Indeed, I eat ham!
-shruew

2.

Place it in a can
Market it to the masses
Spread the word of ham
-shruew

3.

It was a good one
A honeyglazed perfection
Sad now, it is gone.
-shruew

4.

Serve this masterpiece
Enjoy the sweet glazed topping
A spiral sliced joy
-shruew

5.

Hickory smoked ham
Serves 96 grams of fat
One serving is all.
-shruew

6.

Fresh, cured, dried, smoked ham
Too many choices to make
Give me one of each.
-shruew

7.

Boneless ham for you
Means less ham for me to eat
That's why you must die
-shruew

8.

Ham ham ham ham ham
All I can think about is:
Ham ham ham ham ham
-shruew

9.

Honey-spice glazed ham
Is ready to serve at once.
Delightful for you!
-shruew

10.

Ham peppered bacon
It is not a proper ham
Yet, it's very good
-shruew

11.

Love, Sex, Fame, Power
These are things people are after.
I just want some ham.
-shruew

12.

Muslims don't eat ham
It's not considered halal.
I will eat their ham.
-shruew

13.

Clowns crying in blood
Streets flooded with dead bodies.
Hope - we call you ham!
-shruew

14.

I awake from sleep;
A new day beckons me to come.
Breakfast ham for strength.
-shruew

15.

Why am I obsessed?
ham. BAM! ham. BAM! ham. BAMBAM!
TAKE ME TO YOUR GOD!
-shruew

16.

Regrets in our lives.
Looking back at my life I
Should've had more ham.
-shruew

17.

Mexican wrestlers,
Colorful costumes and acts.
Not as good as ham!
-shruew

18.

Before or after
Before ham or after ham
Ham is the center
-shruew

19.

Oh, say can you see?
By the dawn's early ham-light
I eat tons of ham.
-shruew

20.

Sometimes I think that
The sun is just a giant ham
Honeyglazing Earth.
-shruew

21.

When it's time to go,
When it's time to bury me.
Bury me in ham.
-shruew

22.

Co-pilot Chewy,
You have never eaten ham.
You should try some soon.
-shruew

23.

Vegetarian,
I do not fear what you eat.
For it is not ham.
-shruew

24.

In certain cultures,
It is legal to marry
Dry-cured, not brined, ham
-shruew

25.

If Hitler ate ham,
All the world would be German.
Again, ham saves all.
-shruew

26.

Through being cool now.
I have no ham and it hurts.
I WILL get some ham!!!
-shruew

27.

Fabio Testi
You starred in a movie once
Did you eat ham there?
-shruew

28.

Hamburger, you lied!
There is no ham in your meat!
Stop using that name!
-shruew

29.

The Code of the Ham:
Live Free, Eat Well, Do Good and
Honeglaze evil.
-shruew

30.

In the Middle East,
They don't eat a lot of ham.
That explains a lot....
-shruew

31.

This ham has spoiled.
Wasted in the frigde, it rots.
Tragedy unfolds.
-shruew

32.

Bacon is not ham.
Do not be confused on this.
Breakfast ham is best.
-shruew

33.

This country is free.
Founded on the premise that
Ham should be consumed.
-shruew

34.

Pigs are known as the
Philosophers of the farm.
Eat their ham and learn.
-shruew

35.

Let the silence soothe.
Enjoy the starry night sky.
Embrace nature's ham.
-shruew

36.

Oh, Holiday Ham,
How I wish you were year round.
Instead of just now.
-shruew

37.

World hunger abounds.
People are starving to death.
They should get some ham.
-shruew

38.

You must be able
to survive at any cost.
Keep the ham coming.
-shruew

39.

It has come; the time.
Worthless! Worthless! All the time!
Ham shall set me free!!!
-shruew

40.

The Pork Chop Express
Delivers ham to the world;
delivering joy!
-shruew

41.

The meaning of life
really has nothing to
do with ham. It should!
-shruew

42.

This is a haiku.
It is about ham and stuff.
It's not very good.
-shruew

43.

Zombie death clowns die!
You cannot steal all my ham!
I'll rip your hearts out!
-shruew

44.

To live forever.
To never hunger or thirst.
That is ham's promise.
-shruew

45.

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47.

48.

49.

50.

51.

52.

53.

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55.

56.

57.

58.

59.

60.

61.

62.

63.

64.

65.

66.

67.

68.

69.

70.

71.

72.

73.

74.

75.

76.

77.

78.

79.

80.

81.

82.

83.

84.

85.

86.

87.

88.

89.

90.

91.

92.

93.

94.

95.

96.

97.

98.

99.

100.

101.

Epilogue

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