101 Haikus About Ham

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101 Haikus About Ham

Located at http://www.rangersquad.com/smf/index.php/topic,185.0.html , 101 Haikus About Ham was started by RS-shruew to bring glory to the meat that is ham.

Trivia - 101 Haikus About Ham actually has 102 haikus. A special 102nd haiku was added to bring a glorious end to this most incredible endeavor.

shruew was the writer of the first 52 haikus about Ham; thought to be the single most impressive achievement by an individual ever.



Haikus (In Order of Appearance)

1.

Oh dear, I hunger
Is there no solution here?
Indeed, I eat ham!
-shruew

2.

Place it in a can
Market it to the masses
Spread the word of ham
-shruew

3.

It was a good one
A honeyglazed perfection
Sad now, it is gone.
-shruew

4.

Serve this masterpiece
Enjoy the sweet glazed topping
A spiral sliced joy
-shruew

5.

Hickory smoked ham
Serves 96 grams of fat
One serving is all.
-shruew

6.

Fresh, cured, dried, smoked ham
Too many choices to make
Give me one of each.
-shruew

7.

Boneless ham for you
Means less ham for me to eat
That's why you must die
-shruew

8.

Ham ham ham ham ham
All I can think about is:
Ham ham ham ham ham
-shruew

9.

Honey-spice glazed ham
Is ready to serve at once.
Delightful for you!
-shruew

10.

Ham peppered bacon
It is not a proper ham
Yet, it's very good
-shruew

11.

Love, Sex, Fame, Power
These are things people are after.
I just want some ham.
-shruew

12.

Muslims don't eat ham
It's not considered halal.
I will eat their ham.
-shruew

13.

Clowns crying in blood
Streets flooded with dead bodies.
Hope - we call you ham!
-shruew

14.

I awake from sleep;
A new day beckons me to come.
Breakfast ham for strength.
-shruew

15.

Why am I obsessed?
ham. BAM! ham. BAM! ham. BAMBAM!
TAKE ME TO YOUR GOD!
-shruew

16.

Regrets in our lives.
Looking back at my life I
Should've had more ham.
-shruew

17.

Mexican wrestlers,
Colorful costumes and acts.
Not as good as ham!
-shruew

18.

Before or after
Before ham or after ham
Ham is the center
-shruew

19.

Oh, say can you see?
By the dawn's early ham-light
I eat tons of ham.
-shruew

20.

Sometimes I think that
The sun is just a giant ham
Honeyglazing Earth.
-shruew

21.

When it's time to go,
When it's time to bury me.
Bury me in ham.
-shruew

22.

Co-pilot Chewy,
You have never eaten ham.
You should try some soon.
-shruew

23.

Vegetarian,
I do not fear what you eat.
For it is not ham.
-shruew

24.

In certain cultures,
It is legal to marry
Dry-cured, not brined, ham
-shruew

25.

If Hitler ate ham,
All the world would be German.
Again, ham saves all.
-shruew

26.

Through being cool now.
I have no ham and it hurts.
I WILL get some ham!!!
-shruew

27.

Fabio Testi
You starred in a movie once
Did you eat ham there?
-shruew

28.

Hamburger, you lied!
There is no ham in your meat!
Stop using that name!
-shruew

29.

The Code of the Ham:
Live Free, Eat Well, Do Good and
Honeglaze evil.
-shruew

30.

31.

32.

33.

34.

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39.


UNDER CONSTRUCTION-----