101 Haikus About Ham

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101 Haikus About Ham

Located at http://www.rangersquad.com/smf/index.php/topic,185.0.html , 101 Haikus About Ham was started by RS-shruew to bring glory to the meat that is ham.

  • Trivia:
    • 101 Haikus About Ham actually has 102 haikus. A special 102nd haiku was added to bring a glorious end to this most incredible endeavor.
    • Only three Haikus (numbers 3, 4, and 53) do not include the word ham.

shruew was the writer of the first 52 haikus about Ham; thought to be the single most impressive achievement by an individual ever.

The incredible testament to ham was started on July 2nd, 2007 and concluded January 17, 2008.


Haikus (In Order of Appearance)

1.

Oh dear, I hunger
Is there no solution here?
Indeed, I eat ham!
-shruew

2.

Place it in a can
Market it to the masses
Spread the word of ham
-shruew

3.

It was a good one
A honeyglazed perfection
Sad now, it is gone.
-shruew

4.

Serve this masterpiece
Enjoy the sweet glazed topping
A spiral sliced joy
-shruew

5.

Hickory smoked ham
Serves 96 grams of fat
One serving is all.
-shruew

6.

Fresh, cured, dried, smoked ham
Too many choices to make
Give me one of each.
-shruew

7.

Boneless ham for you
Means less ham for me to eat
That's why you must die
-shruew

8.

Ham ham ham ham ham
All I can think about is:
Ham ham ham ham ham
-shruew

9.

Honey-spice glazed ham
Is ready to serve at once.
Delightful for you!
-shruew

10.

Ham peppered bacon
It is not a proper ham
Yet, it's very good
-shruew

11.

Love, Sex, Fame, Power
These are things people are after.
I just want some ham.
-shruew

12.

Muslims don't eat ham
It's not considered halal.
I will eat their ham.
-shruew

13.

Clowns crying in blood
Streets flooded with dead bodies.
Hope - we call you ham!
-shruew

14.

I awake from sleep;
A new day beckons me to come.
Breakfast ham for strength.
-shruew

15.

Why am I obsessed?
ham. BAM! ham. BAM! ham. BAMBAM!
TAKE ME TO YOUR GOD!
-shruew

16.

Regrets in our lives.
Looking back at my life I
Should've had more ham.
-shruew

17.

Mexican wrestlers,
Colorful costumes and acts.
Not as good as ham!
-shruew

18.

Before or after
Before ham or after ham
Ham is the center
-shruew

19.

Oh, say can you see?
By the dawn's early ham-light
I eat tons of ham.
-shruew

20.

Sometimes I think that
The sun is just a giant ham
Honeyglazing Earth.
-shruew

21.

When it's time to go,
When it's time to bury me.
Bury me in ham.
-shruew

22.

Co-pilot Chewy,
You have never eaten ham.
You should try some soon.
-shruew

23.

Vegetarian,
I do not fear what you eat.
For it is not ham.
-shruew

24.

In certain cultures,
It is legal to marry
Dry-cured, not brined, ham
-shruew

25.

If Hitler ate ham,
All the world would be German.
Again, ham saves all.
-shruew

26.

Through being cool now.
I have no ham and it hurts.
I WILL get some ham!!!
-shruew

27.

Fabio Testi
You starred in a movie once
Did you eat ham there?
-shruew

28.

Hamburger, you lied!
There is no ham in your meat!
Stop using that name!
-shruew

29.

The Code of the Ham:
Live Free, Eat Well, Do Good and
Honeglaze evil.
-shruew

30.

In the Middle East,
They don't eat a lot of ham.
That explains a lot....
-shruew

31.

This ham has spoiled.
Wasted in the frigde, it rots.
Tragedy unfolds.
-shruew

32.

Bacon is not ham.
Do not be confused on this.
Breakfast ham is best.
-shruew

33.

This country is free.
Founded on the premise that
Ham should be consumed.
-shruew

34.

Pigs are known as the
Philosophers of the farm.
Eat their ham and learn.
-shruew

35.

Let the silence soothe.
Enjoy the starry night sky.
Embrace nature's ham.
-shruew

36.

Oh, Holiday Ham,
How I wish you were year round.
Instead of just now.
-shruew

37.

World hunger abounds.
People are starving to death.
They should get some ham.
-shruew

38.

You must be able
to survive at any cost.
Keep the ham coming.
-shruew

39.

It has come; the time.
Worthless! Worthless! All the time!
Ham shall set me free!!!
-shruew

40.

The Pork Chop Express
Delivers ham to the world;
delivering joy!
-shruew

41.

The meaning of life
really has nothing to
do with ham. It should!
-shruew

42.

This is a haiku.
It is about ham and stuff.
It's not very good.
-shruew

43.

Zombie death clowns die!
You cannot steal all my ham!
I'll rip your hearts out!
-shruew

44.

To live forever.
To never hunger or thirst.
That is ham's promise.
-shruew

45.

Blood sausage for all.
Nazi clowns slapping children.
A future ham saved.
-shruew

46.

If it is not love,
Then it is the ham that will
Bring us together.
-shruew

47.

No words can describe
The honeyglazed joy of ham.
That's their own problem.
-shruew

48.

Your Dad left you young.
Your mother gave you away.
Ham was there for you.
-shruew

49.

Why does ham perplex?
What mystery does it hold?
No one can be sure.
-shruew

50.

Gladiators of
meats and fish welcome to my
Arena of Ham!
-shruew

51.

I know of a place
Where ham flows freely for all.
In my dreams, at least.
-shruew

52.

More than half way done.
My testament to ham is
very much on its way!
-shruew

53.

Oh Lord I'm so hot.
Heating on the roasting pit.
Apple in my mouth.
-Drake

54.

Baked fried or roasted.
Perfection in each serving.
Oh ham I love thee!
-Drake

55.

Endure, Persist, Live.
You must carry the burden.
Supplicate to ham!
-shruew

56.

Grossman is no ham!
A can't honeyglaze a win!
Get back to produce!
-shruew

57.

Hear the rain splash down,
Fallen tears from unseen gods.
Ham has left heaven!
-shruew

58.

Glorious desire,
Ramifications of love.
Sacrifice for ham.
-shruew

59.

Ham's no reprobate.
No eternal damnation
For the Chosen Meat!
-shruew

60.

Ham's like a snow flake,
Each bite a unique flavor.
Each bite a marvel!
-shruew

61.

Witch Doctor of Ham,
Do what you can for that boy.
Your ancient plague cure.
-shruew

62.

Ham Paladin can
Save you from your inner fears.
Repent and rejoice!
-shruew

63.

Sunshine; morning dew.
Celebration of senses.
Ham rises the sun.
-shruew

64.

What's in my pocket?
Meaty, gentle, tasty fun!
Of course, it is ham!
-shruew

65.

I like my ham like
How I like my girls to be:
Gold, glazed, sliced...uhhh wait.
-shruew

66.

Politics to save
Us from life's many troubles.
Infuse ham. Repent.
-shruew

67.

When all else fails you,
When all hope in life fails you,
Ascend to the ham!
-shruew

68.

You cannot stop me!
Children looking at the throne
Don't know ham rules all!
-shruew

69.

Putrid man get back!
Homeless man without a plan;
Stay away from ham!
-shruew

70.

Rub ham on your loins.
Insert it in some places.
Just keep that secret!
-shruew

71.

Sometimes I wonder
What life would be without Ham
I dare not dream it
-Bear

72.

My desperation;
The trials of life take hold!
Find solace in ham.
-shruew

73.

Let's think about ham.
Contemplate its special taste.
At awe in it's glow!
-shruew

74.

Was it all a dream?
Ham flowing like uncorked wine,
I'll never wake up!
-shruew

75.

Everyone loves Ham
Except for Chillybilly
He should be beaten!
-bear

76.

To have New Year's joy,
Ham must be consumed wisely -
Use moderation.
-shruew

77.

Ranger Squad loves ham,
we love it with a passion
ham is our lifeblood
-GenG

78.

Ham is quite godly
Ham is inebriating
Ham is life itself
-GenG

79.

ham is god's lesson
ham is better than school is
ham is just super
-GenG

80.

Ham is good on bread
even better on women
it is always good
-GenG

81.

The clock struck seven
I was almost late for ham
but on time i was
-GenG

82.

Eggs with my breakfast
Turkey for my late lunch-break
Ham with my dinner
-GenG

83.

the sun is shining
a great golden ham glowing
lights the universe
-GenG

84.

Owning at my games
playing most delightfully
with ham at my side
-GenG

85.

Music was playing
furniture was strewn about
my ham was stolen
-GenG

86.

Money can't buy love
money can't buy happiness
money bought me ham
-GenG

87.

God gave men, women
god gave women the kitchen
God gave all great ham
-GenG

88.

Soldiers were marching
without rest they keep going
I gave them some ham
-GenG

89.

I have a fever
There is one prescription out
it's honey glazed ham
-GenG

90.

Snow was a falling
temperatures were dropping
ham i was eating
-GenG

91.

we had us some ham
Giberish had none with him
We did not share it
-GenG

92.

The new year has come
The old year has passed us by
Ham is forever
-GenG

93.

I walked up my stairs
When i beheld something great
Ham awaiting me.
-GenG

94.

I love my music
But when i have a headache
I eat ham instead
-GenG

95.

GenG loves his Ham
Certainly not more than shruew
Ham is in his blood
-[[Bear}

96.

The stars above shine
Down upon the Earth like ham;
Night time honeyglaze.
-shruew

97.

Soon this will all end.
The tribute to ham will stop.
I will cry that day.
-shruew

98.

Eat it! Eat the ham!
Don't make me have to kill you!
You WILL eat this ham!
-shruew

99.

Take us home to ham.
I've been away far too long.
Rejoice in its brine.
-shruew

100.

If there is no God,
then we must have faith in ham.
For it is divine.
-shruew

101.

This is not the end.
This shrine will last forever.
A tribute to ham.
-shruew

Epilogue

Lo, too late to post!
The Thread's Ragnarok has come
Yet ham: eternal.
-Silent700

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