This weekend, March 9th, marks the start of daylight savings time in America where an hour disappears into the space time continuum.
Most people simply go about their day changing the 9,000 or so clocks they have around their house to adjust for this lost hour without ever thinking about the laws of quantum mechanics that cause all of this to happen.
For example, in the classic Moon Watcher paradox, if you were an astronaut on the moon at the precise moment that the hour is ‘lost’ you will, in fact, not lose that hour from your perception and when you returned back to Earth you would find out that you were indeed your own grandfather, second cousin and cleaning lady. You can actually recreate this in the excellent Kerbel Space Program.
Twas the time of year that we reflect on that remarkable fellow born on Dec 25th who changed the world so much. A man who never once knew the sweet physical love of a woman and left no heirs (and seemed to spend a lot of close time with male friends, but I’m not implying anything there). A man whose written words are still studied closely to this day and his rules followed.
I’m talking, of course, about Sir Isaac Newton. The Apostle of Alchemcy. The Deliverer of Differentials. The Bishop of Binomials.
I hope everyone had a good time obeying the laws of physics as we gear up for yet another year of Ranger Squad. New games, new friends, same old complaints from Rom on game mechanics. It’s going to be great.
Unlike last year I will not be repeating my year’s worth of predictions as last year’s did not go so well…
If there’s one thing I learned by mislistening to winter car commercials is that people have a hard time remembering their dismembering. If you by a new Lexus, you will surely have a Dismember to Remember.
I think this speaks to the overall mental decline of Americans. If we can’t even remember our dismembers, who can we be expected to recall that evolution is bullshit (or is it the other way around…oh crap!). What was I talking about?
There are many names for the lord of all evil: Satan, devil, father of all lies, antichrist, Lucifer, prince of darkness, Beelzebub, Captain Howdy.
But, what really defines good versus evil?
Take Halloween for example. If you offer a child candy when they come to your door in costume – that’s considered good. I try to take this concept on the road driving around in costume in my windowless conversion van – that’s somehow considered bad. And really, what am I supposed to do? Keep a 500 foot tape measure with me at all times to figure out if I’m a safe distance from schools? It’s a thin line that’s always being redrawn.
Wherever you draw the line, have a happy (or is unhappy more appropriate?) Halloween.
Happy summertime one and all and etc etc etc… We’ll have some (hopefully) interesting things for the Wasteland mod coming in over the July 4th extended weekend so please excuse our lack updates in the last week or so.
There once was a crumper…let’s call him… ColF. ColF was an ambitious crumper who demanded the crumpiest crumps from all the crumpers around him. When he saw a crumper sub-par crumping he would say, “That doesn’t count!!!” Those around him would look back at him in anger and scorn. But, ColF wouldn’t notice, he’d keep on demanding “That doesn’t count!!!”
Fed up with all the lackluster crumps in the CrumpHall, ColF decided to crump better than has ever been crumped before. Even better than what was ever been attempted to be contemplated before.
The crowd gathered round as he started to crump on the Crump Floor. He jumped and crumped and bumped his rump with such gusto that he would float off the ground and approached the mirrored Crump Ball spinning from the ceiling.
“Turn on the lasers!” ColF screamed as he approached the mirrored Crump Ball now inches from his crumping head. Hoping to put on a crumping light spectacular the likes of which no one has ever dared dream befopre, ColF was caught up in his own crumping euphoria.
However, the crumpers he’d disdained were in control of the laser light show and turned the setting from Planetarium Light Show to Death Level Omega 7.
“Turn on the lasers so I may school you cumpers with the flyest of crumps!”
And so they did.
The lasers reflected off the mirrored Crump Ball just inches from ColF’s head. The first appendage to be lost was ColF left arm just below the elbow. Known as the left crump arm region.
“That doesn’t count!” screamed ColF in pain as the second reflection cut down his right stomach.
“That doesn’t count!” screamed ColF in agony as the third reflection sliced off his feet.
“That doesn’t count”, screamed ColF in torment as the fourth reflection sliced off his right shoulder and arm.
“That doesn’…..”, ColF attempted to scream as the fifth reflected laser cut off his head.
Random factoid: shruews cannot spell February on the first try- ever; nor can they pronounce the first R in said month. This is not considered a defect, but an example for the world to aspire to. In other news…
Ranger Squad Wasteland
In case you have been living under a rock…Ranger Squad is now developing a custom version of the 404Wasteland mod. Please see the forums here for updates on what’s new.